FAMILY CIRCLE-MARRIAGE

How to Strengthen Commitment.

The Task: You made a vow, on the day you got married. The commitment was a lifelong solemn promise – a strong resolve to stay-put with your spouse so as to solve problems that may arise henceforward.
  As time passes, however, depreciating effect of marital conflict has taken its toll. That strong commitment to your spouse, do you still feel it?

WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE IN MIND.
Solution is the commitment, not the problems. Lots of people nowadays are doubtful of their commitment. Some people liken commitment to a ball and chain that restrains them to good decision. Rather, think of it as anchor that keeps your marriage stable. In fact with commitment on both side, many spouse have come to know that conflict period does not mean time to leave. Commitment brings about confidence that your marriage is secured-even at turbulent times-it will give you a base from which to resolve your marital issues.
   My concern: If you are having challenges in your in your marriage, now is the time to reaffirm and strengthen your vow, not doubt it.

THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS CERTAINLY WILL HELP YOU.
 

  Check Your View. “Married for life”. That phrase, how does it make you feel, trapped or secured? When challenges come up, do you see leaving your spouse as the only viable option? To strengthen your commitment, it is vital you view marriage as a lifelong union.
    Examine Your History. Commitment to you might be influenced by what you learn from your parents. For example, if your parents divorced when you were growing up, it may tend to leave you with a negative view of commitment. You are different and can make things differently in your own marriage. You are not condemned to repeat your parent mistakes.
 

  Examine Your Speech. In the heat of argument with your marriage mate, repress the desire to use words that will hurt your spouse which you may regret later. Things like “I’m a getting a divorce”, I’m leaving you!” or, “I’m going to get someone who appreciates me!” Such utterances weaken commitment, rather than addressing the issue at hand, they merely involve the two of you further in onslaught of insults. No matter what the issue is, using our tongue wisely can help immensely. Rather than using hurtful speech, you might say something like this: “obviously we’re both upset. How can we work together to resolve this
problem?
 

  Clearly Send out Commitment Signals. Keep a photo of your spouse on your desk at work. Be positive about your marriage even when to talk to people. Make it a goal to call your mate each day while away from home. Always talk about “we” as well as using phrases like “my wife and I” or, my husband and I”, by such action, you show others-and to yourself-that you are committed to your marriage mate.
 

  Look to Healthy Role Models. Look to experienced and mature couples who have weathered marital problems successfully. Ask them “what commitment in marriage mean to them, and how it has helped their marriage?
If you carefully apply these points and put them into practice, no doubt you are ready to make your marriage a success.
Please follow us on our subsequent article on family circle as we will be writing on how to “HOW TO FORGIVE”.